Reached speeds of up to 5 mph …

by Pete Talbot

While doing some research for a pithy political piece, I came across this story. What I found most amusing was the strict AP writing style applied to the piece. It’s written in true police blotter fashion.

While DUI’s, in general, aren’t very funny, this story cracked me up.  I hope this guy isn’t one of Santa’s helpers.


  1. Jim Lang

    North Pole, Alaska… grass grows there?

  2. petetalbot

    Maybe he was mowing the tundra.

  3. The funny thing is how it is written almost without a sense of irony…

  4. I know of a guy in Belgrade, MT who got a DUI on his horse.

    He rode his horse into the bar, ordered a shot of whiskey, was served, shot it, rode his horse out of the back of the bar.

    Turns out there was a Deputy Sheriff in the bar at the time. Deputy follows the guy out of the bar, gets in his cruiser, and trails the guy alongside the rode, where the guy is riding in the grass alongside the rode.

    Cowboy hadn’t cinched his saddle properly, and he falls off the horse. Deputy then arrests him for DUI – on his horse.

    Only in Montana.

  5. JC

    “North Pole, Alaska… grass grows there?”

    24 hours a day this time of the year.

    I had a buddy that use to be a roofer in Fairbanks. When you get 24 hour/day sun, you tend to forget things like maybe the neighbors of the house you are roofing like to sleep at 3am, and that’s why the cops are showing up.




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