Up Yours, Jill Valley

by Rebecca Schmitz

Last night’s television coverage of the convention reminded me once again why I don’t watch network TV: none of the big boys, even my home slice Jim Lehrer–Jim Lehrer!, bothered to completely cover our Governor’s speech. I started the evening with Jim and his crew of blowhards analysts. (I kid about the “blowhards”; even though I disagree with him most of the time, David Brooks is a conservative I can respect) They missed Governor Deval Patrick because of all the blah, blah, blah, so to make up for it PBS replayed his speech, then cut to more of the blah, blah, blah. By this time I jumped to NBC–no, there’s Brian Williams talking to his analysts, okay, how about CBS, nope, hey, who are those people? Who cares? Okay, how about–nah, forget ABC. CNN? Nope. Commercials. Hmmm, do I dare? Am I ready to lose some IQ points? Fine. I’ll go there. Wait…you’re kidding. FOX is airing a recap of the primary season? Well, shit. This means only one thing.


Finally, there was Brian, in the words of our friend Goof Houlihan, “clowning and corny“. But hey, I got a kick out of his speech. The floor loved it. Even Bill Clinton liked it. During the standing ovation, the Big Dog mouthed “I like this guy, he’s good” to Rebecca Gwatney.

I guess there’s only one channel for me. Jill, I know it’s not your fault, but this kind of news coverage–all punditry and no substance–is the reason why I never tune into CBS’ broadcast or that of your competitors. Sorry, Jim, but even PBS dropped the ball this time. One lousy speech, and you guys felt it was more important to talk to the historians on the panel. I’m sticking with C-SPAN for the next two days, and, if I have the stomach for it, I’ll stay there next week for the Republican National Convention. We’ll see, though. It all depends on whether or not Costco sells Tums by the case.


    That’s how Rebecca Schmidtz rolls!

    Sup Now Jill Valley?

    Takin it in the FACE!

    The only Valley I see is in your noggin from just gettin kocked the Phuk OUT!

  2. ladybug


    You’re a quick study. Imagine how “minor” parties feel in America when these “kingmakers” exclude their nominees from general election debates. Non-party, independents, forget it. We really are all in this (corporate quagmire) together.

  3. It’s Rebecca–one B, two Cs. Thanks.

  4. Maybe Jill was embarrassed by the governor’s boy-howdy schtick.

  5. Jim Lang

    Brian gave a great speech. Started slow – looked like he was having a little too much of a good time – but he sure pulled it out by the end.

  6. I watched it (and Michelle Obama’s speech) on YouTube. I gave up on local news long ago.

  7. petetalbot

    Rebecca, I see you haven’t lost your touch with the understated headline. Actually, I’m a bit jealous. The exact same thoughts were rolling around in my noggin. You just barely beat me to the keyboard. It’s C-SPAN all the way for me.

  8. Jim Lang

    I don’t even know who Jill Valley is… I suppose I should consider myself lucky.

  9. Local news anchor who’s pretty much the face of CBS in Missoula, Jim.

    That doesn’t make sense, Carol. Jill should have been used to the “boy-howdy” by now, after all those years of Conrad Burns doing the same schtick.

  10. goof houlihan

    I watched. If I can’t watch it or read it first person, I just don’t trust. I agree with Rebecca 100% on that. Which is why you see me comment mostly on local issues.

    I was too harsh with him, but he looked a couple of times like Bob Knight showing reporters his game face.

    As for getting all folksy, I’ve seen Judy Martz do the same thing, get incompetent with a badly written script and then just play to the audience. It was embarassing then, and it’s embarassing now. I’m a substance over form person, and the chubby cheerleader thingy doesn’t play with me.

    I KNOW it got the crowd going. But then, so would stupid (or smart) dog tricks. I’ve long come to grips with it, I’m as warm and fuzzy as a rusty axe.

  11. Hearing everyone rave about it, I expected more. It reminded me of 1 AM in a bar with a cover band on stage; bust out something like ZZ Top’s “Tush” and the worst band in the world will get the crowd screaming and hollering.

    His references to “biofuels” and “clean coal” as legitimate alternative energy sources ruined it for me. That, and someone needs to write a new manual for speech-givers on what to do with their freakin’ hands.

  12. Ruthlmm

    But, back to the subject of bands. Since Monday, I and others have been trying to find out who the house band is at DNC. And, especially the soloists Monday. C-Span is geat. That’s my main source for speakers, but the ID ticker disappears when it was just the band playing, with no speakers in sight. My comment Tuesday drew response from other inquiring minds, but no one seems able to find the names of the musicians and those two great female singers featured Monday. Band continues to do a good job. Who are those guys? Anyone have a clue? My Net searching skills are tapped out and local Dem operatives don’t know, either. As I said before, yes, there’s more important stuff going on, but, what about giving the tunesmiths some props, eh?

  13. I’ve been thinking of them as the DNC Players, Ruth, but a quick Google search brought this up as the first result.

  14. They have a BAND? Well, poop, I am jealous. I thought it was CDs.

    And, Rebecca, Burns’ boy-howdy was real! At least 90% real. Schweitzer’s is put-on. I’d like to hear him speak Arabic. That would be cool.

  15. So all the boy-howdy “nigger” and “raghead” jokes, they were all real too? Sweet!

  1. 1 Rebbeca wrecks shop on Jill Valley, KPAX. Sup now? « Super Ad-Hominem

    […] https://4and20blackbirds.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/up-yours-jill-valley/ […]

  2. 2 Rebbeca wrecks shop on Jill Valley, KPAX. Sup now? « Ecoroving blackbirds left of the mountain city

    […] https://4and20blackbirds.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/up-yours-jill-valley/ […]

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