Deep thoughts: time to build that wall

April 27, 2010 in Humor, Missoula, Montana, Progressives, Ravalli County, Regressives

by Pete Talbot

Walls come and go. The sieve-like wall that separates Mexico from the U.S. is being fortified, and an additional “virtual fence” is in the works. The Berlin Wall is history. The Great Wall of China endures. Israelis are building walls to keep Palestinians out.

So how about a wall along the Missoula-Ravalli County line? I believe this would make folks on both sides of the wall happy. It would keep all the Communists and sexual deviates from corrupting Bitterroot youth. It would keep the right-wing nut jobs from stirring up trouble in Missoula. It’s a win-win.

I don’t have a lot of examples of Communist or sexual deviate infiltrators but I have plenty of right-wing nut job anecdotes.

Dallas Erickson. He keeps reminding Missoulians how morally bankrupt we are. He’s worried that perverts are lurking in our bathrooms. He’s also a big crusader for Wal-Mart.

Or this guy, Glenn Kimball of Corvallis. I’ll skip over his wacky Celebrating Conservatism street demonstrations and cut straight to this quote from a letter to the Missoulian:

Montana’s own Democratic U.S. Sen. Max Baucus is admittedly a socialist. He has served in Congress way too long, and his recent support of unconstitutional Obamacare unveiled his true colors.

Mr. Kimball might be right about Max serving “way too long,” but I missed Baucus admitting that he’s a socialist (must have been back in that tough 2008 race against Bob Kelleher). Christ, I wonder what that makes me?

And I didn’t realize that the watered-down health care bill, which, with the help of Max, is a minuscule change from the status quo, is also unconstitutional. Even Rob Natelson thinks the health care legislation is here to stay.

Then there are the kids packing (toy) heat and lining Highway 93 in support of the Second Amendment. I wasn’t aware it was in jeopardy, particularly in light of recent Supreme Court rulings.

The list goes on-and-on.

Of course, there’d be a toll booth in the wall. That way, both counties could garner some much needed revenue, but it would keep the general riffraff and obstructionists away — in both counties.

Now I know there are progressives in the Bitterroot, just like there are right-wingers in Missoula. Perhaps some sort of window sticker that would allow like-minded folks to travel between counties without being charged a toll; you know, Bitterroot progressives get free admission into Missoula and right-wing Missoulians get a free pass to Ravalli County.

Anyway, it’s a thought.

(Update: Here’s another reason to build that wall, courtesy of Jay over at LiTW.)