Art & Drugs

by lizard


(artist, Ken Foster)

AND

What got me thinking about Art & Drugs tonight was seeing a banner proudly proclaiming that The Missoulian sponsors First Fridays at the MAM (Missoula Art Museum).

Obviously, being sort of hyper-critical about our local fish-wrap, my first thought was: nice, after sensationalizing bad boy Jason Christ and spinning negative coverage of MM issues, you want to simultaneously support “the arts” which, let’s be honest, often comes with some degree of chemical tinkering by the artist.

Pogo is right, I just don’t get it. The glaring inconsistency between the serious consequence of legal drugs like booze and pain pills and a demonized plant that does all kinds of things short-circuits my brain. I don’t get it.

And to prove i don’t get, i wrote this—

*

AN ODE TO ASSHOLES

me taking a hit of the sweet ganja green
makes culture warriors angry, bitter, and mean
I’m not sure what’s the deal
something stuck up their ass?
I mean Knox can’t remember if he used to sell grass
but someone, O someone
just please tell me why
they leer with dumb fear at folks getting high?

haters of bong shops
and glassy-eyed youth
stinking like skunk weed and old Taco Bell—

these new hippie models are nasty and rude

think culture warrior hypocrites who settle in drink
with Viagra, Percocet, and a self-righteous stink
who maybe hold stock options in corporate pharmaceuticals
who protect their drug profits
from innocuous cubicles…

I’m not sure what’s the deal, but these idiots repealed
the majority will of us citizens
and things will get worse as we move in reverse
while they demonize natural medicine

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  1. cosmicgarden

    Love Bill Hicks.
    And Greg Giraldo, rest his soul. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t pot that killed him.

    “Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
    It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
    Do you know what’s not natural?
    80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural.
    But we got pills for that.
    We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
    but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

    You know we have more prescription drugs now.
    Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
    I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
    Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?”
    Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
    Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is:
    people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
    I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
    That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

    The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
    Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
    If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
    What’s going to happen to our porno industry?
    These women don’t just grown on trees.
    It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
    And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

    Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
    You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
    Terrorists masterminds.
    Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think?
    They’re not masterminds.
    “OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?”
    “Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just:”
    “Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”

    Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
    Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
    Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
    An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
    The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
    “How’d you get through it grandpa?”
    “Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

    Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
    I’ll sit at a drive thru.
    I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
    Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
    You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it!
    Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.

    Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
    Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft?
    Of course not.
    You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
    “You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.”

    We’re in one of the richest countries in the world,
    but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
    There are homeless people everywhere.
    This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
    I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
    And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on.
    Why am I judging this poor bastard.
    People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it.
    Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
    Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless.
    I walked behind this guy the other day.
    A homeless guy asked him for money.
    He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum.
    People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
    This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
    Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date.
    I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
    I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy.
    Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.

    • OMG! This is good stuff, SO TRUE! Needed a good laugh this morning as last week was…. well you know.

      Especially loved the stuff about the obesity epidemic. Really LMAO (my son’s name is John, pictured a future grandson on my lap).

      But then again it’s not really funny is it? Maybe my laugh is a nervous one. I’ve been there, I’ve seen it, I’ve done it…. and I’m not proud of it.

      Thanks again Cosmic! The truth WILL set you FREE!

  2. Cosmicgarden = irreverent !!! Yesssssss
    so right on about the ‘dance recital’ the gymnastiX, girl scouts, 1st grade carnivals,.
    Don’t watch TV ever! Have a MedMarijane card! but prefer jwh-018

    i wonder what he means by: “fish wrap” ? and i’ve heard the name jason christ but can’t place at the moment; MM?

    • cosmicgarden

      a newspaper good enough to wrap your fish n chips in I spose, one step up from lining the birdcage

      • Thanks Cosmic, i’ve used the term often, referring to various and sundry art thingy’s but was mostly wondering What particular Fish are you wrapping :) ? is it Kinkaid or ? The BG doesn’t make even good fish wrap.

    • Yes, Jason Christ is a MM advocate and supplier. He has been arrested multiple times and there seems to strong evidence that he was stepping outside the law in providing Marijuana to people without cards (as well as being alleged to have done other things). He is often pointed to as being one of the reasons MM failed in Montana.

      http://billingsgazette.com/news/state-and-regional/montana/article_cc4386a6-f3e3-11df-b56e-001cc4c002e0.html

      http://www.kxlh.com/news/police-arrest-medical-marijuana-advocate-jason-christ/

      Many MM advocates say that he is one of the reasons the Feds got involved. I don’t really know much beyond that.

      • Steve W

        Jason Christ hasn’t been convicted yet, to the best of my knowledge, so I’m not sure what evidence you have seen that you consider to be strong. Unless you are confusing what you read in the papers with evidence. many people do, but they aren’t the same thing.

        I didn’t know that he is charged with anything like providing cannabis to people who don’t have cards. Neither of the two stories you linked to mentioned anything like that.

        I’ve met him two or three times briefly.

        He is personally responsible for helping about two thirds of cards recipients in the state obtain their cards. Which is one reason why he’s such a target. Another reason is that he’s rather acerbic and quite good at getting people pissed off at him, which he does regularly.

        I know that the cops and the Missoulian, and the TV news has repeated over and over that medical cannabis has failed. But I disagree with that assessment. I think it’s succeeded wildly. Success has it’s costs, though.

        The feds didn’t bust Jason Christ as far as I know. They did, however, bust the company that was owned until a few months back by Tom Daubert, of Families and Patients United. it was part of an 18 month investigation, according to news reports.

        Daubert has been one of the prime demonizers of Jason Christ. And, in my opinion, Daubert has spent far too much time attacking Christ and far too little time supporting better, cheaper, and easier access to medically therapeutic cannabis for people who need it.

        And don’t get me started on our local DA, who appears to be running a political prosecution against Christ in his offices’ felony intimidation charge against Christ.

        According to the Missoulian, Christ demanded to speak to a supervisor and threatened to blow up the place if they wouldn’t connect him to a supervisor. Stupid? Yes
        Criminal? I doubt it.

        When my family were the victims of multiple death threats against my family, and threats to kill me if i showed my face in Missoula, that filled up two answering machines, followed up by a physical assault and battery against my then my wife at Ace Hardware in missoula, Fred Van Valkenburg let the purps completely walk with deferred prosecution. No paper trail, no nothing. the most he ever charged them with was misdemeanor violation of the federal communications act. Then he switched the court dates, never informed us of the new date or that he was letting them walk, and we only found about it because then victims advocate (and now Justice of the Peace) Karen Orzek

        He said he was too busy to even look at the evidence. He had to get the case out of the way, even if it meant violating Montana state statutes relating to the victims rights to know.

        Of course, the people terrorizing my family weren’t outspoken advocates of medically therapeutic cannabis, and my family isn’t a well known corporation.

        So Fred acts different in those cases, apparently. I’m thinking Fred sets his prosecution priorities based on who the perp is and who the victim is.

        Again, all I know about Jason Christ’ legal problems is what I read in the papers, but it really smells of selective prosecution aimed at a political enemy.

  3. Quest

    Love it! Love your honesty and pureness. Thanks so much for sharing.

  1. 1 Art & Drugs (via 4&20 blackbirds) « ktkannabis

    […] Art & Drugs (via 4&20 blackbirds) April 4, 2011 by ktkannabis This lightened my Monday after last week’s legislative drama! Love Lizard’s poem and the post by Cosmicgardner. by lizard (artist, Ken Foster) AND What got me thinking about Art & Drugs tonight was seeing a banner proudly proclaiming that The Missoulian sponsors First Fridays at the MAM (Missoula Art Museum). Obviously, being sort of hyper-critical about our local fish-wrap, my first thought was: nice, after sensationalizing bad boy Jason Christ and spinning negative coverage of MM issues … Read More […]




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