Archive for March 17th, 2012

by lizard

My wife thinks I’m bullshitting with this one, but I’m not. I am considering voting Mitt Romney for president, and here’s why.

Mitt is not a good liar, as evidenced by the GOP primary race. That’s why he can’t convince the loony right that he’s down for their Christian jihad. I bet a president Mitt Romney would be equally awful at being deceitful, which is a good thing. His stale, mechanic delivery when talking will be a totally ineffective sheen over the continued looting of the public trust. Because the lies of President Mitt will be more transparent, it will be easier to stoke outrage and organize opposition.

As a perfect expression of late-stage capitalism, Mitt Romney is an ideal fall-guy. Sure his economic policies will be terrible, but that’s the point. Since there is absolutely no political will to do any of the things necessary to actually address the systemic failures we’re seeing (thanks to the total takeover of the two party system) then let’s put a true vulture capitalist in the hot seat, so we can really see (sans hopium) how these bastards intend on dismantling every last strand of the safety net.

Electing Mitt Romney may even make us safer from external attack. People all across the world will say “If those Americans elected him, they must be crazier than we thought.” People have a natural reluctance to engage with someone who is obviously mentally unstable. The world will realize how deranged we’ve become if we elect Mitt Romney, and will definitely think twice before doing anything provocative.

The reason I’m entertaining making this (I’ll admit) repellant statement with my presidential vote is because I have absolutely no faith that Obama will make any miraculous transformations during his second term.

As Obama’s long-form campaign ad, The Road We’ve Traveled, stirs the hibernating emotions of sometimes discouraged Democrat supporters, I think of all the counter-weight dragging down hope and stifling change.

Gee, lizard, such a negative Nancy. Why not just give in to the lurking flicker of hope that Obama will emerge from his first term cocoon to become a second term butterfly of progressive change?

You’re right, voice in my head. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Please forgive me. To make things right, I’ll offer Guggenheim’s Obama love-fest below the fold Continue Reading »

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