Archive for April 19th, 2012

by lizard

Traveling with kids can be stressful, especially in this day and age. But I learned some important things on my trip back to the midwest to visit family and friends that I would like to share.

1. Window shades CANNOT be closed during take-off and landing. I asked the stewardass why, and she said “in case of emergency” like that’s all she had to say to justify this new, idiotic rule. So when my 3 year old son asked me why he couldn’t put the shade down to shield his eyes from the blazing sun, I told him sometimes there were stupid rules that adults made up for no good reason, and we just had to deal with it.

2. Kids under the age of 12 do not need to take off their shoes in the security line, and if you’re 3 year old is acting slightly terrified at all the stern looking people keeping us safe from the terrorists, then you ARE allowed to walk through the metal detector holding him. I hope the terrorists don’t exploit this weakspot in the TSA.

3. There is simply no escaping the stupid ideology of crusading Christians, because when you least expect it, you may find yourself involved in a political conversation with Laurie Roth, one of the candidates seeking the nomination for the Constitution Party’s loony bid for the presidency.

Unfortunately I’m being completely serious. While trying to quell multiple tantrums, I had Laurie Roth—self-described “Annie Oakley of the airwaves”—trying to engage both myself and the pregnant women sitting in the window seat in political conversations. It wasn’t until the end of the flight that she clued me in to her destination (Nashville) and her reason for traveling (to become the Constitution Party’s nominee for president).

Want to know more about Laurie? Here is some info from her bio:

Laurie is happily married and currently resides in Washington State where she spends her free time walking her two dogs and feeding deer, raccoons, birds, flying squirrels, and anything or anyone else who might show up at her door. She really is incorrigible!

Laurie Roth has a Ph.D. in counseling and a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. If she can’t reason with you, you had better duck before the roundhouse kick sends you flying! She is the proverbial “pastor’s daughter” when it comes to her sense of adventure and her independent thinking. However, underneath her sharp wit, loony antics, and twisted views, you will find a woman with an uncommon gentle nature, a daily walk with God, and a unique talent for finding success against all odds.

One of the words that pops into my head when I think about crusading Christians is contradiction. You know, like claiming to have a “gentle nature” right after threatening to violently dispense with people who can’t be reasoned with.

A quick perusal of her website revealed more contradictions, as delightfully exemplified by the title of this post: There IS no freedom for America without faith in God. Like my 3 year old says, wowsers! Continue Reading »

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