Why Mitt’s My Guy

by Wizard

Want to know why Mitt’s my guy? Because he has what it takes to get those of us who matter through these difficult times.

What finally sealed the deal for me was the story of how Mitt made the tough call to take El Salvadorian cash from the good, rich Latinos who funded death squads to kill those bad, commie Latinos. If you watch the kind of tv I watch (Fox), then you know fighting commies never ended (which is totally not contradicted by all the crap I have in my house made in China).

Some people, like liberals, think Mitt’s governance of liberal land (Massachusetts) makes him some kind of socialized health care loving liberal lover or something. I think Mitt was doing deep reconnaissance, almost like a sleeper cell, and now he’s activated to do America the way she needs to be done, if you catch my drift.

Is Mitt an outsourcing, tax avoiding, gaffe factory of ineptitude? Hardly. He just doesn’t give a fuck what you think. Personally, I think being associated with death squads is bad ass, and making a shit ton of money in every exploitive way possible makes a shit ton of sense.

True power is not having to care what others think of you. With Mitt, like with George, not knowing the names or titles of foreign people, like leaders of countries, is a sign of strength. And it makes liberal elitists howl, which, I admit, is sort of fun to watch.

Now, with the boy wonder Paul Ryan selected, it’s on. Obamageddon is coming, America, and instead of getting loaded with booze and ammo, liberals are too busy fighting over why Obama isn’t Socialist enough to satisfy their delicate social justice fairy tales and Marxist utopias.


  1. Big Johansson

    You’re on to something.

    Plus he causes cancer in the wives of his laid off workers.

    • Wizard

      Liberals are just jealous of Mitt’s financial vitality. He is an Eagle Capitalist, with talons honed from the hunt. His vigor inspires me!

      • Big Johansson

        Just inspired over 10K. in WI.

        http://m.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/romneyryan-rally-planned-for-waukesha-sunday-night-096f6lt-165842666.html

        • Steve W

          Mitt is the shit! (excuse my French)

  2. d.g.

    If Mitt is elected it will be because ersatz-liberal cow towns like Missoula suffer sycophantic syndrome and hypocritical hyperbole….embracing only the REally Really Big Causes like: Big Rigs and Coal Trains and Corporate Personhood while little things like ten city parks sprayed with Montsanto glyphosate go unnoticed. It starts at home. Mitt will mint money with his face on the front and his dog on the back because 4andtwentyquackbirds is ego fueled and seldom even notices when kids play in poison in our parks.

    • Wizard

      Yes d.g.! These Liberal Quackbirds obviously hate children and if they can’t abort them then poison is the obvious next step.

  3. That is actually pretty funny, and frighteningly accurate. I think you know the minds of a lot of conservatives better than they know them.

    • Wizard

      My mind is sharp like a survivalists machete, a tool I can sharpen myself. If you had that kind of blade, you would probably pay some union knife sharpener $22 dollars an hour to sharpen it for you.

      Liberals like to think if only everyone was better educated about things like the suffering of the poor that would result from Paul Ryan’s visionary budget plans, we would sign up to be part of the collectivist goose-stepping Liberal camp bestowing fealty to the almighty power of the Federal Goverment to “help” those sucklers who can’t help themselves.

      Well, ya might want to stop and consider that we don’t give a rat’s ass about the lives of government dependents. If they can’t survive without handouts, tough shit.




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