My Last Super Bowl

by lizard

Imagine sinking your comfortable ass in her plush leather seat, then slowly curling your fingers around her steering wheel. Imagine striding across a high school dance floor, seeking her, then taking possession, her pliant body submitting to your will—if only for a few seconds, and despite the consequence of a black eye for violating another male’s property.

Just a formulaic Super Bowl ad, right? Buy an Audi, Dad, and your son will suddenly buck the social hierarchy that probably bullied you into the redirected mission of getting rich enough to equalize the social imbalance that cock-blocked you back in the day.

The fantasy Audi uses to sell its cars is an extension of the conquest narrative, a very old tale, which goes like this: to the victors go the spoils.

This year, the Baltimore Ravens are the victors, so if anyone on the winning team feels like including some celebratory fucking in their post-game revelry, there is plenty of sex trafficking that goes on during the Super Bowl:

In the past year, authorities in Louisiana have been working to raise awareness about the rampant sex trafficking that has historically accompanied the Super Bowl. While there is a widespread perception that human trafficking is a problem only in foreign countries, data from the U.S. Department of Justice show the average American prostitute begins working between the ages of 12 and 14.

Established in 2006, the Louisiana Human Trafficking Task Force, comprised of federal, state and local law enforcement agencies, plus faith-based and nongovernmental organizations, has been meeting regularly to try to increase trafficking arrests and rescue the victims.

As a tourist destination, New Orleans attracts sex workers year-round, said Bryan Cox, spokesman for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security in New Orleans. But many of those young women are not here by choice. So, in the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl, both outreach and undercover efforts have ramped up.

Underneath the military-worship and the damage-control over concussions, underneath the culturally vapid advertising and the ritual indulgences of eating and drinking too much, what is left of American Football to celebrate?

When half the lights went dark at the start of the 3rd quarter tonight, the ghost of Katrina emerged through snarky tweets mocking how America was getting upset about being denied its gladiator entertainment in the same space where people languished in misery for days after hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.

Thirty minutes later, the violence on the field was able to resume, and the Ravens survived. For those who wanted a close game, you got it.

For me, I’m done watching American football.


  1. Big Swede

    No credit given for the “greenest” Superbowl ever?

    Quote:
    While the Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49ers compete to hoist the Vince Lombardi trophy this weekend, eco-friendly fans and city leaders in New Orleans are competing to maximize sustainability practices to the fullest.

    To make this the greenest Super Bowl, the New Orleans Host Committee has partnered with fans and the community to offset energy use across the major Super Bowl venues. The exterior of the Mercedes-Benz Superdome features more than 26,000 LED lights on 96 full-color graphic display panels, designed to wash the building in a spectrum of animated colors, patterns and images. The system draws only 10 kilowatts of electricity — equivalent to the amount of energy used by a small home — and the lights are expected to last for many years before needing replacement.

    Off the football field, New Orleans is embracing energy efficiency with help from the Energy Department. The city retrofitted four libraries using an integrative design approach — adding motion sensor lights, energy-efficient heating and cooling systems, and upgrades to the building envelopes. These improvements helped cut the libraries’ energy costs by 30 percent and serve as a standard for other city-owned buildings. New Orleans streets feature more than 1,200 energy-efficient light fixtures. In addition to saving the city money on energy costs — an estimated $70,000 annually — the new lights help the city reduce routine maintenance due to their longer lifespan. From Energy.gov..

    • lizard19

      my god you are obnoxious. I suggest reexamining your childhood for lead exposure.

      • Big Swede

        Consider yourself lucky.

        I was going to copy the Paul Harvey/Dodge truck ad and put it in the comments.

  2. Jack Ruby

    You’ll be back.

    • lizard19

      you know, I really have loved watching football. the first Super Bowl I remember watching was the 49ers and the Bengals. the image that really stuck with me, though, was (I think) David Fulcher breaking his ankle, or some injury like that. I remember seeing replays of his foot kind of flopping around in a way that didn’t look right at all.

      I imagine it’s similar to any young kid who saw the callous cruelty of RGIII’s injury this year.

      football has just become too obscene to continue to support. when even Terry Bradshaw doesn’t want his kids to play the sport, and says:

      “There will be a time in the next decade where we will not see football as it is”

      then there’s serious problems with the future of the sport.

      • Jack Ruby

        Tim Krumrie, that was a brutal injury. The NFL is already on a tight rope trying to cover their six from the lawsuits and appear as if they are making the game safer with the bs roughness penalties without changing things so much that the fans stop watching. It will be interesting to see how they dance with it, but the show will go on. There is way too much money to be made and it would not be good for the masses to suddenly have a bunch of free time on their hands. They dont want people actually going out and doing productive things, asking uncomfortable questions, etc. Idle time is the work of the devil. Much better to be plopped in front of the tv for 9 hours on sunday, plus 3 hours on monday and thursday, getting pumped full of corporate propaganda and such. (Not to mention college games). You’ll be back though.

        Are you a chiefs fan? Sorry.

        • lizard19

          yeah, the Chiefs, former AFC contenders. thank you for reminding me there will be a benefit to not watching football ;)

  3. NamelessRange

    Interesting post Lizard. Though I feel many of the same things you do about the NFL, it has yet to push me over the threshold, and drive me away.

    I do think though, that the conclusion you reach in the final sentence of this post doesn’t follow from what precedes it. Quit the NFL if you must, but don’t quit American Football. High School Football in Montana, especially the smaller classes such as B or C, contains all the beautiful aspects of the game the NFL ever has offered, and even a little bit more.

    • lizard19

      sorry, I just don’t see the beauty of high school football. I see a lot of money going to football that could be better spent, and I see the jock entitlement in high school athletes that trickles down from the pros through college. the scandals at Penn State, Notre Dame, and UM are not aberrations. they are part of a culture that is deeply rooted in many communities like Steubenville, where a “rape crew” literally dragged around a drunk girl, casually and repeatedly violating her body.

      my boys won’t be playing football. the potential for negative, long term effects from even just a few concussions is not worth it.

      • NamelessRange

        I want to defend the game a little.
        A lot of money does go to football that could be better spent, but that’s irrelevant to the beauty of the game. For me, the beauty is derived from the players’ passion and the rules of the game. The former really shines at the high school level, and especially in the smaller classes, and both have nothing to do with high school budget decisions.

        The trickle down of “Jock Entitlement” you refer to is an abberation among high school and college athletes. ( An abberation being an instance of deviating or being aberrant especially from a moral standard or normal state) The fact is, rapists, rape squads, and child molestation coverups are still statistical outliers in the extreme when the whole population of athletes playing football are viewed as a whole.

        I do consider the question: Do Football players commit terrible acts, such as rape ,at higher rates per capita than their geographical peers of the same age and sex? It’s an empirical question that could be answered, though not without difficulty.

        Even so, it still wouldn’t follow to blame the game, or to feel that exposing children to the game increases their probabilities for harm or corruption. We would need to consider what children would be doing if they weren’t playing the game as well as the fact that correlation is not causation for a lot of reasons. It gets complicated. I can only refer to what is relevant to me which is high school football in Montana, and small town football in Montana could have entirely different correlations than nationwide trends. My gut feeling says it does. Notre Dame, Penn State, UM, and Steubenville all have despicable aspects, are highly emotive examples, and were big media stories. I’d be interested to see the statistics answering the question I posed above though, as many big media stories proclaiming trends among social groups ARE highly emotive examples of a cherry picking fallacy.

        I don’t feel the injury concerns are as large as you imply, though football is a game with risks. It’s good that the science has overwhelmed the culture and concussions are finally being taken seriously. Kids are being shown from day-one the proper way to tackle. As opposed to the suicidal head-down, bloody alley spear tackling crap that used to be incorporated into peewee football. Helmets are ever improving as well, ( And Expensive as hell) as are concussion identification and treatment procedures. Statistics show that the most likely cause of your child getting a concussion as a child, is a motor vehicle accident, a fall, or a bike accident. It is true that only hockey has an increased risk of concussion over football as far as sports go.

        My point of view is that to declare that the risks that go along with riding a bike are acceptable, but those that go with football are not, seems arbitrary.Sport or not, we would be differing not only on what we value or devalue, we would also be differing on how much we value or devalue aspects of the game. My feeling is that the cons outweight the pros for you or anyone, that is perfectly fine. I think though, such a conclusion would be coming from a subjective place, in the same way the opposite conclusion would be as well. I see significant benefits for a child in the experience of playing football. For me, the pros of football outweigh the cons, if my child wants to play the game. It’s certainly not an easy decision.

  4. Lizard it’s still a great game.

    The commercialism stinks, but the game doesn’t.

  5. Steve W

    Your post reminds me this song, liz




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