Archive for October 15th, 2013

by lizard

I have some information that is sure to get Republicans excited, because it entails turning the screws on poor, destitute individuals who get the exorbitant base amount of $700 dollars a month in disability. If the social security administration figures out you, as a disabled individual, are homeless (not paying rent), then your check gets cut nearly in half, to around $400 dollars a month. And guess what, staying in a motel doesn’t count. Isn’t that fantastic?

So let’s say there’s a guy who spends over $200 dollars for the luxury of staying in a nasty motel room for a week, and when he doesn’t have that luxury, he’s pounding malt liquor and shitting himself in the alleys of downtown. This hypothetical dude gets his check slashed. Isn’t that just awesome?

This is clearly the fiscally responsible thing to do, like when Montana Republicans denied their poor constituents that evil government plan to expand medicaid. Poor people are really taking advantage of us taxpayers, and we are lucky to have Republicans looking out for us, keeping the entitled poor in check.

And then there’s food stamps, where poor people are eating like kings, like surfer dude Jason Greenslate eating lobster. Can you believe that? 47.5 million Americans surfing and eating lobster. America has truly lost its way.

Please, Republicans (especially you assholes reaping farm subsidies) believe everyone on food stamps is Jason Greenslate, and stay far away from people like Bill Moyers, because if you expose yourself to Moyers’ blowing up 6 myths about food stamps, then you might have a crisis of conscience, and we wouldn’t want that.

No, fiscally responsible Republicans who never take government handouts, we definitely wouldn’t want that.

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