Surviving Thanksgiving

by lizard

There is all kinds of helpful information on the internet to make the Holidays tolerable, and Huffpost wants to ensure its liberal readership is prepared for the battlefield dinner table, so here’s Every Argument You’ll Need to Win your Obamacare Debate this Thanksgiving. It’s like getting psyched for a football game:

We’ve all got a crazy uncle we love. He might not even technically be an uncle — it’s not something the family likes to get into — but he’s there at Thanksgiving every year just the same, getting heavy handed with the 1.5-liter wine bottle, insisting on calling the dog “bitch,” starting with off-color jokes that made people uncomfortable even before the country “evolved” and finishing with a tea party-inspired screed about the Kenyan in the White House. We’ll call him Uncle Hank.

Everyone has or knows a Hank — that is, except for Hank. Hank has a problem on turkey day: his hopelessly naive, Nation-reading, vegetarian niece who likes to quote from Howard Zinn and tell him about the genocidal roots of the holiday they’ve gathered to celebrate. She wants to spread the wealth around, but has no interest in hard work, no respect for the people who make this country run. She has never signed the front of a paycheck. Let’s call her Emily.

It’s been a rough stretch for Uncle Hank. Thanksgiving after the 2010 tea party wave tasted pretty sweet, but otherwise, he’s had little to rub in when he’s seen Emily — what with gay marriage sweeping the nation and an ascendant multicultural coalition reelecting the black president. Ugh.

But this year, more than the cranberry sauce, more than the deep-fried turkey, more than the pecan pie and more than the Concha y Toro, he’s looking forward to devouring his defenseless niece over the flop that has been Obamacare. He’s ready for his feast of I-told-ya-so.

Here at HuffPost we believe in news you can use, so we’ve put together a guide we hope is just as useful to Hank as it is to Emily. Because what good is having a political opinion if you can’t prove it’s the right one in front of your extended family on Thanksgiving?

Instead of trying to figure out how to antagonize time with family with politics, it might help to remember that plenty of people don’t have family and friends, making the holidays a time of increased depression and all the messy consequences that produces.

Huffpost wants to help with this problem as well, so here’s 8 Tips for Surviving Depression and Anxiety During the Holidays.

  1. Turner

    That’s a nice summary of Obamacare arguments. The real problem with it is that for-profit insurance companies still have way too much power in the program. Sorry for the cliche, but they’re the foxes in the hen house.

    Medicare for all is the answer.

  2. Big Swede

    Thanksgiving also marks the birth of the Democratic Party.

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