On “Delivering Democracy” in Ukraine and other such Nonsense


“… In time democracy can be delivered to
the Ukrainian people.” — Joe Biden to the Atlantic Council

Like father, like son!

Earlier today I read this statement spoken last April by V.P Joe Biden to the Atlantic Council (shortly before his son was appointed to the Board of Burisma, Ukraine’s largest private gas company). It’s just been gnawing at me all day, so I thought I’d ruminate on it a bit — that and I’m pretty sick today, and have a good fever, so the delirium should prove humorous for some of you.

The first problem here is with the notion of “in time.” What the heck does that mean? That we’re going to keep pursuing our goals in and around Ukraine until they are met? I guess the Russian Aggression Prevention Act is all over that notion, basically granting Ukraine the same non-NATO ally status as Israel — meaning that an act of aggression against one of our listed allies is an act of aggression against us — and bombs away! Heck, even Henry Kissinger in his whirlwind book tour interviews thinks we need to not be so bombastic and offer Russia an easy out.

Back to “time.” Today, Syrian Foreign Minister Walid Muallem was quoted as saying that the U.S. told the Syrian government that we would bomb ISIS/ISIL for three years. Three years! Is that all the time it takes to deliver democracy (I guess, if it’s not really a “war” with no Congressional authorization it’s ok and will happen sooner)? Let’s see, we’ve been in Afghanistan for 13 years. How’s that democracy thing working out there (hey, nobody said democracy was cheap!)?

We’ve been in Iraq for 11 years, no, strike that. We’ve been warring in Iraq for 24 years, since the start of the Gulf War (gotta include after Desert Storm the 1/2 million children we killed in the name of democracy, “it was worth it,” says Madeline Albright). How’s that democracy doing? I guess we could go back to U.S. meddling in the  Iraq-Iran war that started in 1980 — 34 years ago — but that would mean drudging up the Iran-Contra affair, and that miasma of middle east/central america democracy exportation business (à la carte drug and gun running) that started in the 70s. Not to mention how it helped our democracy elect Ronald Reagan in the Iran hostage crisis. But I digress (easily).

I suppose this notion of delivering democracy “in time” is open to interpretation. Depending on where you go, you can get a variety of answers on how many outbreaks of democracy our political and military (subversive and overt) interventions are responsible for (kinda like tracing flu or ebola epidemics world wide, I guess — but hey, we’ve got ebola patented, so if anybody tries to make money off it we can sue them! Love that free market system; we should trademark Democracy™  just in case anyone else or another country tries to edge in on our business and export a fake ripoff copy!).

One source I looked at  lists about 135 overt (or disclosed subversive) military interventions overseas in the last 124 years. Take a look. How many of those countries have we successfully delivered democracy to (or taking true democracy away by deposing democratically elected leaders — Viktor Yanukovych, was leaving Ukraine with a knife to your throat really “fleeing” and abdication of your presidency?)? What was the cost for those that “succeeded?” Well, in Japan’s case it was just a couple billion dollars. Oh, and a couple hundred thousand lives… (Damn that oil embargo! What, they still have an emperor? NOOOOO!)

Wiki lists 30 covert operations since the Cold War began. How’s our democracy exporting business working out for those targets?

Next off, let’s think about how one nation can deliver democracy to another. Imposing one’s chosen system of politics and politicians on another has a name: overthrow, its result a junta — like in Ukraine. Even if President Obama tries over and over and over to paint a rosier picture.

Sure, we talk all we want about the ends justify the means and all that rot. So maybe we should just look at the actions of one bastion of America’s 5th column overseas: the National Endowment for Democracy (“Supporting Freedom Around the World”). I guess there’s something to gain by the puppeteering public arm of the CIA publicizing how it subverts governments in the name of freedom and democracy. At least Russia knows where to look to stem subversive activities. And other countries can run like hell when NED moves in, or bend over before the sh*t hits the fan.

Supposedly NED was created because the CIA was tired of having to conduct ops that were as easily carried out in the public arena. This allowed the CIA to focus on more subversive and deep state operations without getting bogged down dealing with publicity and the media. Hard to be undercover, doing photo ops and making public statements at the same time — at least not without a bunch of shell corporations. Oh yeah, the shell companies. We can’t forget them, several have connections to Burisma through its many shady actors.

So sure, the U.S. has many ways of exporting democracy. Some upfront, some subversive, some downright illegal (Congressional authorization for our illegal war against ISIL anyone?). But most of them really have nothing to do with democracy. That is just a wolf in sheep’s clothing. There ALWAYS is another reason for our country’s actions in and towards another country. It usually revolves around energy or other strategic resources/locations (I bet Russia was pissed to lose Alaska to the U.S. — note the reference to another Crimean war!).

We can always look the other way when one Wahabi cult wants to destroy another pseudo Wahabi cult (sorry King Abdullah, but we’re talking “real” democracy here!) for benefit, as long as it meets our strategic goals, and that includes exporting democracy as a cover… right? Or assist in the chaos. Alastair Crooke does an interesting exposé on what the circle-jerk of special interests are doing trying to mold the middle east into their own form of democracy or religious cult, caliphate, or dictatorship… or whatever. Wonder what kind of bennies Crooke’s betting on, being the MI6 spook that he is?

Yep, “exporting democracy” has become synonymous world-wide with our country being referred to as “the Empire of Chaos: Coalition of the Killing. Heck, some kids are even making a killing off of the role playing virtual version of the real thing! Capitalism rocks!

Back to Ukraine. Everybody already knows (right?) that shortly after Biden’s speech, his son took on directorship of legal affairs for Burisma. What a carnival ride that trip is! His fellow incoming director and college buddy/financial partner, Devon Archer was John Kerry’s chief bundler in 2004, and a trustee of the Heinz Family fortune. Not to mention being buddies with the ex-deputy director of the CIA Stephen Kappes (with whom he sits with on the board of DiamondBack Tactical — which builds military goodies for democracy export mercenaries).

Oh yeah, then there’s the issue of the ex-president of Poland (and Burisma Director), Aleksander Kwaśniewski that the CIA paid off $15 million for looking the other way while we build a secret rendition prison at Stare Kiejkuty to torture people like Khalid Sheik Mohammed and Abu Zubaydah. All in the name of the democracy exportation business, mind you (torture: it’s cool, it’s hip, so no worries!). It gets a little involved, all those people you need to put together to deliver the goods democracy.

Did I mention that Burisma got a bunch of leases to explore in eastern Ukraine and the Crimea from some of their “democratic” cronies like previous owner of Burisma Mykola Zlochevsky who stole acquired them through his government position as former Ukrainian Energy Minister before he sold out to Privat Bank, when they all transferred into the hands of Ukraine’s second richest oligarch, Igor Kolomoisy (privatization rulez in democracy!) Almost forgot to mention that Igor (“The Chameleon”) Kolomoisky was appointed the Governor of an oblast in Ukraine for his part in the recent junta; he who owns Burisma — and is Hunter Biden’s boss. The V.P. must be down with that shizzle, democracy and all…

Democracy is such a messy business. Maybe we should start exporting popsicles, it’s less messy — even if they melt (except for the red ones, which when pooling up look too much like blood…). Or start a democracy delivery service, like a pizzeria, “Would you like your democracy with anchovies and extra sauce at no extra cost today?” Tipping would be optional — don’t want to have an appearance of impropriety, now would we?

And Papa Biden has spent quite a bit of time pursuing a policy of energy diversification in Ukraine through fracking.  After all, fracking is the most democratic way to develop a gas field, isn’t it? Especially if you promote it right before your son gets appointed to the board of the company who is going to do the fracking. No conflict of interest there. And you can even get the Ukrainian army to hold the lines for you while you frack in the middle of a civil war zone. (Yay! Another democracy win!)

Ok, it’s time to go out foraging for more good news on the exporting democracy front business and wrap up here! I’ve depleted the bookmark bin for now of the best material. I guess there could be more, like the lobbyist Burisma hired to convince Congress about something. Maybe to pass the RAPA? I guess I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that the lobbyist is Secretary of State John Kerry’s former Senate Chief of Staff (but hey, it’s democracy we’re talking about here, it’s always groovy to call in a few favors!)!

Lastly, I’m reminded of one more thing that Joe Biden proved time and again: that a gaffe is when you accidentally say exactly what you mean. When Joe Biden talks about delivering democracy, what he really means is that he is exporting his — and his family and friends’ — self interest, at whatever cost (oh yeah, did i forget to mention the downing of MH17, all in the name of democracy… possibly may have been done by Kolomoisky’s army?… my bad) to a worldwide market. Not so unlike our last vice president Dick Cheney and Halliburton.

Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

  1. steve kelly

    Manifest Destiny never ended for Extra-Special Joe and his kin. American exceptionalism, imperialism, lebensraum, call it what you like, it’s all justified in biblical verse. Ronnie (Reagan) and Joe, two peas in a pod spreading democracy and neoliberalism to every corner of the Earth from that shining “City on a Hill” — Washington, D.C.? Or has American exceptionalism simply run amuck — once again.

    An interesting counter perspective from Russia’s president:

    “It is extremely dangerous to encourage people to see themselves as exceptional, whatever the motivation. There are big countries and small countries, rich and poor, those with long democratic traditions and those still finding their way to democracy. Their policies differ, too. We are all different, but when we ask for the Lord’s blessings, we must not forget that God created us equal.” Vladimir V. Putin http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/12/opinion/putin-plea-for-caution-from-russia-on-syria.html?hp&_r=1&

    Is this what they call “post modern?”

    • JC

      You have to be exceptional to run amok with it. We’ve run amok with ordinary quest for empire.

      Putin is an interesting study. I wouldn’t classify him as postmodern, as that is what the anglozionists and atlanticists are doing to him. They brand his presidency as a “postmodern dictatorship.” So I don’t believe pursuing an understanding of Putinism via postmodernism is going to be productive, as it already has been subverted by the West’s propaganda and relabeled “Putinism.”

      Putin’s history and current desires to revive pre-soviet Russian nationalism paints him as more of a “pre-modernist”. He has found his faith in orthodoxy, and turns to early 20th century Russian philosophers and Dostoevsky for inspiration.

  2. steve kelly

    Putin preaching principles of democracy to Americans in the New York Times. Whatever it’s called, something about that combination struck me as a little too surreal.

    • JC

      Surreal it is! Putin’s prescience about ISIL, a year ago in his oped, is quite remarkable. Anybody who recently is surprised by the rise of ISIS/ISIL should be reminded that we were warned and offered a path forward working together.

      “My working and personal relationship with President Obama is marked by growing trust. I appreciate this.”

      My what a year’s worth of bad politics and lack of diplomacy can do to international relations. I guess Putin struck a nerve in Washington and that trust that had to be violated as rapidly as possible. It was right after that talk when the neocons went to work on the Maidan revolution in Ukraine. The rest is history…

  3. steve kelly

    CIA seems to have things pretty well wrapped up. Neocons operate the false front called The White House and their #1 pr flack/puppet, President Obama. State Dept. has been out to lunch since “yellowcake and WMDs.” And Congress, well, what can you say, better they don’t think too much, just read the script. They abdicated in 2002.

    Marvelous. Full Spectrum Dominance is as much a home game as it is a foreign (perpetual) war strategy.

  4. You two guys need to get a room.

    Who cares about this crap? No one.

  5. steve kelly


    As a cow-whisperer and spokesman for everyone, I’m sure you have better things to do. Kick back and crack open a cold Coors lite and enjoy some football.

    Go Cowboys.

  6. Turner

    If this is from a reliable source (I never heard of them), this list of top war profiteers is worth pondering. http://anonhq.com/cold-hard-figures-war/. Maybe we should find out which politicians owe most to these companies — and expose the companies.

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