Hey

June 14, 2015 in Montana

by jhwygirl

Absent being contacted by Jay the other day, I was and have always been hoping to get back to writing.  There were less than a dozen reasons why I sort of dropped off regular blogging about three years ago.    It coincided with a period in my life where I think I decided I didn’t want to be angry all the time.  The rape situation in Missoula was eating me up and I felt like I was screaming into a vacuum.  Blogging was getting hostile, even though I rarely commented.  Had people telling me what I should write about, if not how I should do it.  And as Liz mentioned in something somewhere, I do feel I paid a price. Personally, if not professionally.

While I’ve always been wanting to get back to writing, it’s something that’s been on my mind with great weight in the last week or so.  I’ve suffered a tremendous loss, and any writer knows that writing is cathartic.  With this loss though, I’ve also had to fight that anger I was pretty much able to rid myself off three years ago.

So while I’ve wanted to come back to writing, I’ve concerned myself with that anger that can rise up in me.

What three years of rest from regular blogging has given me is a better perspective on utilizing anger.  I hope.  I think  I know a little better now that there is nothing in life that will benefit from coming from a place of anger.  That actually may be coming with age, lol.  My east coast industrial upbringing has given me a pretty thick skin, and I know blogging has gotten pretty rough.  Let’s just say I’m not expecting any welcomes and I’m OK with that.

I am dealing with an immense loss.  What has occurred here has added to that.  Fate is what it is, and this month is an example to me that a 2 by 4 can come out of no where and whop you on the head without any warning, at any time, and try and take you down.  But it is because of the things I am personally dealing with that I am rather ungracefully saying that I can not and will not insert myself into situations between others. I won’t even say I wish I could, but know that I am simply too mentally and physically exhausted to do so.  If that upsets anyone – anyone – I apologize.  I wish I were stronger.

With that, I’ll say that interim committees are starting into swing in the legislature, and Stacy Rye is back on the political scene, throwing her hat in the ring for Missoula County Commissioner.  With the loss of Supermontanareporter John S. Adams, and now Mike Dennison and Chuck Johnson from the state capital, I’d like to do my part and get back to facilitating awareness of legislation in action.

In other words, some pretty milquetoast stuff.

And electing Stacy Rye to Missoula County Commissioner should be a no-brainer.

Finally, I want to thank all of you who have offered support and sympathy this last week or so. It is not only much appreciated, but much needed.  I am grateful for the support.